Strawberry Shortcake

So when I was a kid we had a Gameboy Advance, and we also had a Strawberry Shortcake game.

My siblings and I quickly started to watch the show, and buy all the coloring books and toys, and memorize the theme song and sing it ALL THE TIME. I was completely obsessed with Strawberry, and then I forgot all about her, except to be disgusted when the remake came out.

So imagine my surprise when one day, as I was casually making a smoothie, I checked out the back of the frozen strawberries and found a recipe for strawberry shortcake!

Still burning with the indignation of my last failed attempt at baking, I decided to give the recipe a go.

Long story short, they turned out great!

I am afraid this is going to turn into a baking blog D:> better post something else quick!

Strawberry Shortcake! 

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Beignets

So I made the beignets - which is good - but they did not turn out the way I wanted them to.

The moment I came back from my soccer game, dizzy and sore, I collapsed on the kitchen table like a drunkard. Then the notion popped into my head: This is the perfect time to make beignets.

So I stumbled out of the chair and collected everything I needed. My mom walked in at this point and asked me just what I was up to. When I informed her that I was making beignets, she decided that it was high time she made dinner, and set about doing just that. In hindsight, I'm pretty sure she wanted to keep an eye on me.

Not that I needed it. I was doing just fine until I realized I had no measuring cups. We hadn't unpacked them yet.

So I just used this cup, which looked like the right measurement to me.

The cup I used for almost everything

My mom helped me several times anyway, despite the fact that I told her I didn't need it.

"That water needs to be warmer for the yeast to ferment."

"Don't turn the mixer too high - that's about it."

"Clean up your mess, please."

That was another thing: her work-station was spotless. Mine looked like a flour tornado had touched down and ransacked our cupboards. 

When it was all mixed, I stood there and read the recipe over in a "now what" kind of way. I have my dough, what do I do with it?

Oh, I have to cover it and let it rest 15 minutes, and then roll it out and cut it and put it on a baking sheet - hmm, this sounds like the part where I bake it....

WRONG.

After I put the beignets on the sheet, all ready to bake, I have to wait 45 minutes to let them rise.

That was too much for me. I was already beginning to become crazy with exhaustion, so I popped it in the oven and told myself by the time I came back in the morning it would have risen, and I'd be able to bake it then.

They didn't rise.

Taken at night

The morning after

Not only did the dough not rise, but it was now a hard mass. So I left it out the rest of the day, and forgot it, and went to sleep another night having not baked the beignets.

Now, I'll probably be shot for this breach of hygiene, but the next morning I decided it had taken long enough, and it hadn't risen and probably never would, and i was going to BAKE this dough.

So I did.

And this is what they ended up looking like:

They were like those English muffins I've eaten and disliked, only sweeter (I had piled on the sugar in the hopes that it would make up for every other deficiency).

I didn't even bother to force it on people. I miserably left my piece on the counter, where it hardened instantly into something rock-like. In an effort to make me feel better, my mom consumed about two before she dumped the rest in the trash.

Thanks, Mom. I'm going to stick to burning cookies next time.

I announce my intent to bake beignets

I don't know if most girls my age can cook and bake, but I have issues with it. I believe this stems from the fact that cooking requires 100% of my attention, and I cannot give it more than 70% at a time.

My chief problem is making sure things don't burn, although I also have an issue with losing the measuring cups and then 'eyeballing' all the measurements. Also, I have an issue with not adding salt.....but back to burning things.

What happens is I pop the mix in the oven. "Okay, I'll let this bake 15 minutes," I tell myself.

I get bored and leave after two minutes, thinking, The timer thing will beep and I'll hear it.

What really happens is I come back thirty minutes later to find my mom has tried to rescue the cookies, but they're all burned and crusty on the bottom. We don't usually buy sweets in the house, so anyone who wants a sugar fix will end up miserably gnawing on my rock hard cookies to satisfy their craving. I don't even think the family gets excited when I try to bake anymore. They've been disappointed too much.

I even burn the waffles in the waffle maker. Once I made a waffle that was so hard, we used it as a Frisbee, which was funny until it almost broke our neighbor kid's hand.

Anyway, I've decided to change all of this right here and now. I'm going to make beignets.

I can hear you asking, why beignets?

Because my mom had a box of Cafe Du Monde beignet mix, and it was gathering dust until I dug it out of of the pantry. I planned to make it ever since I discovered it's the same thing Princess Tiana makes in her movie, but my mom threw it away recently on the grounds that it was expired (do flour and sugar even expire?)

So I copied a cool recipe for oven baked beignets from Eat Live Run (I don't want to set the house on fire trying to fry things) and I'm going to bake them and upload the pictures on this site, iA.

Will I burn them? Will they taste good? Will they be hard enough to use as weapons this time?

FIND OUT when I get around to making beignets.

What I want to happen

What's probably going to happen