What happened was, my mother got tired of her room's door squeaking.
It would go creeeeeeak at the slightest provocation. It would make obnoxious noises when anyone was trying to be sneaky, and it would be extremely loud whenever silence was needed - and it is always needed when you've just put the baby to sleep and you don't want him waking up again.
So one day, without telling me, she put shea butter on the door to grease it up, and it worked like a charm: the doors were silent.
She didn't tell me, and I didn't notice.
I did notice how much time I had on my hands when I wasn't putting the baby back to sleep, but somehow it escaped my thoughts that someone must have fixed the door. I attributed it to all the silent prayers and inward curses on my part, and thanked God. That was that.
Until a few days later, when the door all of a sudden shut on its own.
Now, I tend to be a bit on the paranoid side, and my main hobby is watching crime shows like Law and Order: SVU, so when I saw that door swing shut on its own, I was very skeptical, and I just calmly told myself, "someone must have pushed it a little too hard," and ignored the fact that everyone was on the other side of the room and no force had been applied to it for a good solid minute.
Things were fine for a long time after that, until it happened again, when I was alone upstairs trying to find the baby's pajamas after dinner. I came in, turned out the lights outside the room, and was digging through clothes when my mom's room's door just silently slipped shut.
Whoa! WHOA! Silently?!!?!! SHUT ON ITS OWN!!!??!?
Now I was scared. All sorts of thoughts sped through my mind as I tried to comprehend what was going on.
What was that!?
This door used to make noise!
It shut silently and ON ITS OWN.
ON ITS OWN.
ON ITS OWN.
It's a devil.
It can't be.
It must be.
I'm a goner.
Whatever it is has locked the door and is going to eat me---
NO NO NO NO RUN RUN RUN RUN GO GO GO ---
And there I was, flailing down the stairs like a maniac. Still, I didn't mention it to anyone, because a.) they would think I was insane, and b.) they would think I was being a baby. I solved my problems by maneuvering things so that I wouldn't be forced to be in my mom's room alone ever again.
One day, I found the opportunity to casually mention to my mom that her door might possibly maybe be possessed, and that we might need an exorcist. The conversation went like this:
Me: "Hey, mama, you know your door closes on its own?"
Mom: "Yeah, I noticed."
Pause.
Me: "How is it doing this? And why are you okay with it?"
Mom: "The creaking was bothering me, so I smeared shea butter on it."
Me: "Ma, doors don't just close on their own, something has to push them. There's no window or air vent there."
Mom: *looks at me like I'm dumb*
Me: *remembers the air vent in front of the door*
So there was the simple solution to my mystery. I exhaled in relief and was happy.......but do you think it ended there?
No way. It still scares me.
I, for one, even when I know the reason, do not approve of a door closing behind me when I enter a dark room. For heaven's sake, the light is a good five steps away from the entrance. The door is faster than that! I'll never make it in time!
So now it is a race to the light for me, every time I enter the room at night. I race to turn on the lights before it closes, and when I hear that small click, I immediately race to finish my job in that room and get out as fast as I can.
I mean, with all the time I spend on the internet, who can blame me for being scared of the dark?
Who knows what's lurking there?
I certainly don't want to find out.
